Mom- Where would you stay?
Me- ah Home. You have any better option?
Mom- Yes. Why don’t you go to Pune?
Me- really! Bali would be a better option only that am not flying down to either of these cities
Mom- You won’t fly down to Pune either which way. We aren’t here and without us you cannot stay here. Clear?
Me- nope
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Di- Why aren’t you coming to Pune? You must, you must come. We will have fun. Loads of it. All sisters under one roof can bring the city down and tear the curtains.
Me- are you sure that is gonna happen?
Di- of course girl. Jaldi aaa kudiye [come fast girl]
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Nosy Aunt- Heena, why are you such a wreck. Why don’t you get your dirty ass to Pune while your parents are not here?
[Alright, she did not say dirty ass but whatever she did say sounded still the same]
Me- But
N.A-You quit your job when you shouldn’t have, you studied whatever you wanted to [so not true], and you do things as per your wishes. Now when you are a parasite to your family, why don’t you just help them in this little way??? Get over to Pune!!!!
Parasite!!!!!! Ouch. How true. 21 years past my existence, I still live off someone. I still depend on my dainty mom for the next meal of the day and, worse, I depend on them to pay off my internet expenses as well. The days I promised myself that one day past 18th birthday, I should leave the hook immediately look hazy from this cumbersome distance.
“Girl you are hurt”, said my ‘antar aatma’ [soul]
“Of course am not. Look kids of my age don’t do what I do. They never have!!!!!”
“Go shit someone else, not me for sure.”
“Ahhhh ridiculous. I have always worked my fucking ass off!! Kids of my age were partying when I was working in some obscure corner without the knowledge of my parents for that extra dollop of pocket money”
“Without the knowledge of your parents?”
“Well, I did not want them to get hurt that their little girl is working hard.”
“So is this what hurt you the most?”
“What are you talking about?”
“You know twitch, what am I and you are talking about. All I can say is, do not bother. Do not bother at all’
“It’s easy to be someone’s soul and then talk as if nothing matters. It is easy for a soul not to be materialistic and not to get hurt when you are called parasite by a nosy aunt, when all she should have done was to mind her own business, at 21! It fucking hurts.”
“Expectations, you have them all spilled across. Why don’t you just go out and have fun while it lasts? Why can’t you go climb a mountain and then get naked?”
“Just to get molested? Woman, I have other better ways to feel miserable about myself. One of them is to go to; yeah you guessed it right, Pune! Go to Poo-fucking-ne just to blow my only chance of freedom? And you know a cool, sensible, intelligent and whatever feels good at this time adjective -person like me does not have to take this shit? Cuz, I, a big girl, quit my shitty, nerve wrecking, system choking job!!!!! How does it matter to my folks or their relatives that how atrocious and agonizing it must have been for me to continue in that kind of environment with those kind of people doing that sort of job! As long as you have money, you have the worth. Blow this out, lose respect”
Antar Arma, did i say thankfully, fell silent on hearing this big, enlarged and larger than life monologue. She smiled and asked me to take a deep breath and then continued saying:
“You know what girl, you need no respect from every quarter. Respect is precious only when it comes from the right corner. Your corner is different and trust me, you are not the only unemployed fart sitting over here. The important thing is that this is your choice. You have chosen it to be this way and have not been dictated otherwise”….
Ahh too much of philosophy, my ears cannot take anything more than that. Feeling like a hybrid form of Baba Ramdev now! Enough of bullshit melodrama. I have to start packing the goddammit bags right away. I ordered myself around. This is the way to go.
‘Am ready to go,
raring in least,
Am ready to explore,
Not as an excited little beast,
Am ready to plunge,
Am ready to shake,
Only if my booty moves as you please…..
